Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Now just a civilian
Yesterday is the day I ord, and of course though it is the much anticipated day of every NSF, somehow or rather I feel rather weird that this day has arrived.
ORD is a day that is so coveted, being looked forward to by every NSF. But now the day has come that we receive our pick IC. Then what now? I am suddenly an NSman, not knowing what to do. It's not like there was a celebration and everyone is very happy because of a parade commemorating those who are ORD-ing.
My unit doesn't practice that, in fact some of the guys don't even know I am ord-ing! I have this morose feeling, cumulating for a long and now finally being realized. Once you ord, you are not needed anymore, Thank you! Good Bye! And you are then quickly forgotten, all the hard work that you've done and sacrificed over the months will quickly be forgotten in the days to come.
Well, maybe this slight direness felt is because of the leaving people behind. After all you have worked with them for almost 10 months or so, and there is a professional and personal bond formed, no matter how slight. There were the bad worth forgetting, but there were good people worth mentioning too. Don't get me wrong, I hate the damn place, the workload is inhuman, the majority of people are just idiots drawing more pay and doing less work. The "twangers", "slackers", "chao-kengers", "MC-kings", "arrowers", "NATO-ers" (No Action Talk Only)... But it is still the place you spent are year in. A YEAR of your life.
I wonder whether I'll be remembered when I leave. It'll be nice to really hear either one of the PCs saying that. It's nice to know that you are appreciated. I was in the Ops Room doing my last ORD clearance when I saw my pals struggling with some excel thing, and they asked me. That was a nice feeling. I really don't mind helping out, really.
I wonder if I'll be remembered by my men that I've trained, or the specs that I've worked with, or my superiors. Do I even expect such a thing? Will I be recognized when I return? I highly doubt that. I've lost that aura in every organization that I have been with, with everyone moving on with life. It will be the same here in 3Da as well. Another year of my life sacrificed for an organization that will quickly forget about you.
There were many others in the mess we met during lunch that I'll probably never see again. After today, we'll all be forgotten and move on to separate paths, and in time to come, we'll forget each other and each other's names.
I have ORD-ed It's the end of one path, and soon it will be the start of a new one. Somehow I feel that I will be forgotten soon, unappreciated, they'll go back to work fighting fires and I'll be just another lieutenant in the passing. That's ORD in 3Da, there's no fanfare, no ceremony, no parade, no farewells, nothing. You just come, and go, and forgotten.
Posted by MK at 1:02 PM
