Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I know why I feel lousy and disconnected from my comm already, well today after training we had our first official meeting between the 21st and the 22nd committees, and I felt jaded and rather unfulfilled at today's activities.

There were several reasons that I've identified, firstly, I am not improving myself, I have to skip this upcoming grading because I am so tied up with all the other stupid activities and I have no time to train for it. I am under-performing. Professionally, Academically, Personally.

What about my new committee? I am going to take the helm soon, yet well, slightly over a year ago, had I been chosen for the job, I would have been thrilled and elated to accept this prestigious position.

After all I have been in several demanding leadership positions before, all with notable achievements during my time in reign. But now? The requirements of spring and my demanding academic programme and doing poorly in two semesters have left me drained and unfulfilled.

Maybe I made the mistake of accepting the job, I am not the same as I used to be, I am starting to feel drained and unfulfilled from my actions and my leadership doesn't seem to have its intended effect as it once was.

When I was in OBS, I enjoyed every minute of the physical exertion, when I was the BME chairman, I felt fulfilled and enjoyed the achievements that me and my committee reaped, and I thought that it would be the same in here, but alas, it hasn't been so far.

Well current, my old type of leadership doesn't work here anymore, because feedback has informed me that it makes me bossy. Well, that means the 'ol, tried-and-tested leadership style that has worked before doesn't work anymore now. I have to just change my leadership style to suit this committee's attitude,

But fine, if that's what it takes to make things work, then that's what I'll do, I've done it before, and I can definitely do it again, this is just another challenge to me. I have this feeling whatever we talked about tonight is whatever yen jeong dislikes about me, it's not a big problem something i am already in the process of correcting to suit this committee's style. Well that's easy. I feel better already.

I can do it.