Tuesday, August 26, 2008
The 4th Cycle
Well, mama is in a better place now and I guess life has to go on. Monday and school starts all over again, but this time, I upped the ante of my already hectic workload by applying for a minor.I know it's crazy, I think so too myself. I am just overloading myself with another 16AUs for nothing. But is it really for nothing? Ever since getting the damn scholarship, I've been feeling the pressure to perform better than just my basic degree.
I can remember what some of the others mentioned, "Only 1 degree? Oh, so you must be doing a double-Major..."
I need to do more to prove I am just as good as the others. But everyday just sucks. I don't even know what I am doing anymore, just pointless rushing from class to class...
But at least after my last lecture, I rushed down to NTC, STF's very own National Training Centre. It's my first time going down to the training centre, and I was taking this opportunity to get some exposure and take my mind of other matters that has been clouding my mind.
I need some fresh air.
If it wasn't for another black-belt, I wouldn't have gone at all. Well I managed to make my way there alone. Well, the place surprised me, it didn't turn out to be what I had expected at all. I had expected an entire building like the Singapore Badminton Association or the Singapore Table-Tennis Federation.
However, it was a old half-building with 4 stories in the midst of renovation works, and STF NTC only occupied the top floor. Talk about small! Still the place is well-equipped, something that I would have expected from a National-Level training ground. Such as a fully-matted floor, weight machines, permanent sandbag fixtures and practice dummies.
I've been to several clubs now post-Ngee Ann, and I've had pleasant experiences at all these places so far. I will never go back to Ngee Ann ever again.
There were kids training here! And by the time I arrived, training had already started, so I just joined in. The NTC is a place only for brown-belts and above. Well, I thought that the training wasn't very tough at all, it was comfortable, and I had anticipated something that would kill me, but all-in-all, a very pleasant experience.
The kids surprise me too! They are playful, with lots of energy, but when it comes down to training, they are very focused and dedicated, in one session, I have grown respect for them, plus they're nice kids, training to be the next generation of National Fighters.
The training was at a very comfortable yet invigorating tempo, a fresh change to get that long dormant inertial engine of mine kick-started. I want to get back my Pre IVP04/05 all-time-high again.
Half-way through training, a Korean Grand Master stopped by to visit, and he spoke to us for a while (a good chance to catch my breath.) I thought that despite his rambling, there was a lot of wisdom in his words.
This questions was posed: Why do you learn TKD? Well, he mentioned that it's the path that you are looking for and you can apply this philosophy in your everyday life. It's the want to improve yourself. And I agree, I have asked that question myself as well. My answer is that I want to protect my loved ones when the time arises.
But what if I turn against my loved ones as well? Even a weapon can turn against it's master, even a blade can cut it's own wielder. What if for all my training and skill and dedication, I hurt the ones I have sworn to protect?
But when I think of this question, I answer it very simply. What if I don't train and one day, when my loved ones need protecting, and I can't because I am too weak? The second scenario is more preventable and something within my control.
Well. I haven't hurt anyone yet, and don't think I've hurt my loved ones as well. Well if you are my friend, you are one I'll go all out to help, but once you become my enemy... Well you don't wanna get into my bad books...
We trained under Mdm Wong, and it was a wonderful experience, I'll definitely be coming down here again soon..
Why am I training so hard?
It's for a higher cause...
