Tuesday, July 8, 2008
That's going on?
Actually I am very unhappy. I am unhappy at the way the university applications are going, yeah I may have a course reserved, but the amount of paperwork involved is ludicrous. Isn't everything supposed to be computerized and online? But apparently it isn't, and why is it that I seem to be the only one swimming about all this paperwork? I am unhappy at other issues as well.
I am also unhappy at the constant false façade that I have to put up with. I have been deluding myself for the past week or so. Constantly burying myself in work, thinking that I am ahead, yet I really am not. I keep thinking about new projects, thinking about what I have to do, but it's all only a temporary reprieve from that loneliness I am feeling.
That is that all that I am feeling?
I am not really sure what I have to think about anymore. One side keeps thinking about her, another side keeps thinking about the what ifs. Then again, I am not really thinking about what I have to think, or am I just thinking too much again?
I really don't want to think so much anymore. I may think about her, but is she really already taken? Can I really accept that... That they're together...? What a warped up world this is. If she's really taken, then there's no point right? But somehow my 6th sense is tingling at something really very suspicious about the whole scenario.
Why am I feeling this way?
I was also thinking about the award, it's so much more of a bane than a boon right now with all the hassle of an agreement, a deed and such....
Whatever...
Posted by MK at 11:25 PM
